Kould Facts

The sun goes down each day b/c Kould stares it down.

The endangered species list is updated based on what Kould's currently hunting.

Kould was. Then there was the beginning.

Kould counted the grains of sand on Earth while you read this sentence.

Kould's intellect : Hawking's :: your's : a stillborn babe's

The industrial revolution started when inventors used Kould to power their machines.

All written records before 1,600 BC were destroyed b/c Kould wanted his childhood kept a mystery.

The courage of heroes is measured by how many times they think about fighting Kould.

The wind blows b/c it has always wanted to touch Kould.

The Olympic Gold Medal for living has went to Kould every 4 years.

Kould once won a staring contest against a picture.

I was once in a room w/Kould when the Most Attractive Woman pulled something out of his pants. It's gravitational pull made us float off the ground and orbit through the air. It was like staring at the face of a mountain. The ambient heat made my house a steamroom. I thought to myself, "what so fills me with awe? Kould demolished a side of my house turning to face me. Having read my mind he answered, "My penis." He zipped it up and paid for the damages by selling some of his pubic hair, which's spun gold. His pants must contain a pocket dimension.